Dealing with Anger

I first found out about rage rooms through a video shared by George Takei on Facebook.

They're rentable rooms you can go in and smash things to let off steam. Simple, right? You're burning off energy and tiring yourself out in a safe and controlled environment. Exercise can do the same thing—particularly if you own a punching bag—or maybe you're the type that can crank up your music and lift weights or go for a run to blow off steam. Whatever works!

A handful of critics argued on Mr. Takei's post that venting anger in "violent" ways triggers a reward response that encourages you to continue being violent. What irked me was that someone followed up with "best to swallow your pride and be humble".

I would argue that 1, there are far more dangerous outlets, and 2, "swallowing your pride" isn't necessarily helpful either. Physical outlets are effective in that they burn away the physical energy that could act as a barrier to calming yourself down and thinking rationally.

I find it very difficult to keep being mad or even worried if I'm too tired to do so. Burning off energy is way better than trying to go to sleep with your mind racing a mile a minute, and not being able to think clearly the next day. Why demonize a method that works?

Another reason why letting off energy is important is if you're trying to talk about your problems while would up, and someone is actively policing your tone, telling you "calm down" or "talk softly", you're less able to do either.

Also, "be humble" reads as an attempt to minimize the problem at hand, rather than being willing to work through it. I can appreciate that some have found success relying on mindfulness or relaxation techniques, but they're not for everybody. Some—like myself—need help with concepts like letting go. Drive-by prescriptions of drastic life changes have never helped anybody. If anything, they stand to heighten blood pressure and feed self-doubt.

Until next time,

~Niki

Monday rants: boots

I can’t wear anything higher than a combat boot unless it’s available in wide calf.

Am I out of shape? Well, after a couple of years away from karate to focus on my studies—a little bit. That’s been improving since I’ve been back, though I’ve had to take another long break because of that virus that’s been going around.

The truth is, even while I was attending on a regular basis (three classes a week), I still couldn’t fit anything that wasn’t wide calf, and I’m getting those muscles back! My legs aren’t as toned as serious athletes, but they are reasonably solid in my mind.I remember gym class in high school having a unit where we made use of the school’s weight room. Out of curiosity, I set max resistance on a machine that I think was a seated leg press and fully extended my legs (with some effort). I didn’t repeat that because I only wanted to see if I could do it, and I did. It was satisfying and boosted my confidence a bit.

I remember gym class in high school having a unit where we made use of the school’s weight room. Out of curiosity, I set max resistance on a machine that I think was a seated leg press and fully extended my legs (with some effort). I didn’t repeat that because I only wanted to see if I could do it, and I did. It was satisfying and boosted my confidence a bit.

I should say that before I finished writing this post, I was given a pair of boots that are designed to stretch at the calf (my aunt got them from a client and can’t wear them) but I think they’re suede. I wouldn’t normally buy suede, and the toes are kind of pointy for my liking. I’ll still try them for a season and see if they’re comfortable (might as well since they were free). That’s enough ranting for today, especially since my issue was at least partially solved. Time will tell.

Until next time,

~Niki

Height

Posted this sketchy comic on Tumblr and Instagram recently.

The average adult female in Canada (according to Wikipedia) is 5’4″. I’m 5’10”, which is a teensy bit taller than the average adult male here. I’m taller than both of my parents, as well as my biological mother and sister (Yes, I’m adopted. I have a blog post planned to talk about that in the near future). The only person I can blame for my height is my biological father, who, if I remember correctly, is 6’5″.

Anyway, I don’t wear high heels often, but I like to when I’m attending a wedding, anniversary, or some other special event where guests would be expected to dress up. I can walk well in them, so why not? Right?

Except then I get comments from friends and relatives to the tune of “Why are you wearing those? You don’t need them!” (Hence, the comic)

I’d probably kick my shoes off on the dance floor anyway (because come on, unless you’re wearing extremely comfortable heels, extended periods of dancing in them just aren’t happening), but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy indulging myself on special occasions.

That’s enough ranting for today though. I could carry on and go into detail about how a father-daughter dance is going to work when my Dad is 5’6″ but I suppose that’s for another post.

Until next time,

~Niki

 

Re: #Affirmationsforartists

I made a post a few days ago regarding the fact that the “Affirmations for Artists” hashtag had only been used twice before me. I haven’t made as many tweets as I’d intended in that time (I’m still new to affirmations as a concept but they seem to be helping me) but there has been a definite shift.


I’m not sure how top tweets are selected but looking at these search results feels like watching a stream of uplifting and reassuring thoughts get interrupted by a single negative thought. That’s been happening to me in real life. My life situation may be changing soon, but I still have my anxieties because it’s something new and it isn’t certain.

I want to keep going, but I really hope other people chime in and start sending out their own affirmations. Maybe it will help someone, maybe it won’t. I just want to reach out and do what I can.

~Niki

Loose change

Since pennies are all but a thing of the past, my household has started saving dimes and nickels.

Quarters and loonies are needed for the laundry machine downstairs, so those don’t go in. Neither do toonies, because those are too big of a denomination. Dimes and nickels are small enough that unless you’re in a situation where you need exact change, they don’t get used as often, resulting in a jingling wallet full of maybe a couple of dollars worth. Not fun to count in the grocery line, and a little inconsiderate to other shoppers who may be waiting.

If you’re looking to save up, you might be surprised at how fast small change piles up. Cut a slit in the lid of an empty coffee tin and drop something in whenever you have it, then check back in a couple of months. When the tin starts to get heavy, get yourselves some coin rolls.

Until next time,

~Niki

#AffirmationsForArtists

As an artist trying to make a career for herself, I am one of many who suffers from the anxiety that comes with uncertainty. Am I talented enough? Am I skilled enough? Am I good enough?

Recently, I tweeted this out:

Out of curiosity, I searched the hashtag to see if it had been used before. It had, but only twice that I could see.

Twitter is a global platform. Millions of tweets go out every day.

I want to fill up this hashtag with affirmations for all of the people who need them, and I’m asking my friends, my family, my classmates, and my coworkers to do the same. It only takes one tweet to send a message, and we already know that the internet remembers everything. Please don’t let “quit” or “get out” be the only thing it remembers!

~Niki

Monday Rants: Body Positivity

One thing I don’t understand is how the body positivity movement is so often criticized as promoting unhealthiness.

The whole point is you shouldn’t have to hate yourself or your body, and we should never send the message that it’s only okay to love yourself IF you make a reasonable effort to be healthy.

It’s especially hurtful when a person who claims to have your best interest in mind—but does not know you and has no interest in ever speaking to you again outside of that conversation—criticizes you as a person because they feel you’re not doing enough (based on how they perceive you at that time). It’s a drive-by comment and not as productive as we’re lead to believe. If you truly love and care for someone, you should invest in them. Don’t say things like “I’m selfish and want to keep you around longer” if you’re not even going to show up.
When we hear somebody say that they like themselves for who they are, and they accept their body for what it is, why do we assume they aren’t making an effort to better themselves? “There’s always room to improve” is a true statement, but should never be a knee-jerk response to self-love and acceptance.

This is an issue that’s important to me, and I hope I’ve made some sense to somebody.

Until next time,

~Niki