Dealing with Anger

I first found out about rage rooms through a video shared by George Takei on Facebook.

They're rentable rooms you can go in and smash things to let off steam. Simple, right? You're burning off energy and tiring yourself out in a safe and controlled environment. Exercise can do the same thing—particularly if you own a punching bag—or maybe you're the type that can crank up your music and lift weights or go for a run to blow off steam. Whatever works!

A handful of critics argued on Mr. Takei's post that venting anger in "violent" ways triggers a reward response that encourages you to continue being violent. What irked me was that someone followed up with "best to swallow your pride and be humble".

I would argue that 1, there are far more dangerous outlets, and 2, "swallowing your pride" isn't necessarily helpful either. Physical outlets are effective in that they burn away the physical energy that could act as a barrier to calming yourself down and thinking rationally.

I find it very difficult to keep being mad or even worried if I'm too tired to do so. Burning off energy is way better than trying to go to sleep with your mind racing a mile a minute, and not being able to think clearly the next day. Why demonize a method that works?

Another reason why letting off energy is important is if you're trying to talk about your problems while would up, and someone is actively policing your tone, telling you "calm down" or "talk softly", you're less able to do either.

Also, "be humble" reads as an attempt to minimize the problem at hand, rather than being willing to work through it. I can appreciate that some have found success relying on mindfulness or relaxation techniques, but they're not for everybody. Some—like myself—need help with concepts like letting go. Drive-by prescriptions of drastic life changes have never helped anybody. If anything, they stand to heighten blood pressure and feed self-doubt.

Until next time,

~Niki

Monday rants: boots

I can’t wear anything higher than a combat boot unless it’s available in wide calf.

Am I out of shape? Well, after a couple of years away from karate to focus on my studies—a little bit. That’s been improving since I’ve been back, though I’ve had to take another long break because of that virus that’s been going around.

The truth is, even while I was attending on a regular basis (three classes a week), I still couldn’t fit anything that wasn’t wide calf, and I’m getting those muscles back! My legs aren’t as toned as serious athletes, but they are reasonably solid in my mind.I remember gym class in high school having a unit where we made use of the school’s weight room. Out of curiosity, I set max resistance on a machine that I think was a seated leg press and fully extended my legs (with some effort). I didn’t repeat that because I only wanted to see if I could do it, and I did. It was satisfying and boosted my confidence a bit.

I remember gym class in high school having a unit where we made use of the school’s weight room. Out of curiosity, I set max resistance on a machine that I think was a seated leg press and fully extended my legs (with some effort). I didn’t repeat that because I only wanted to see if I could do it, and I did. It was satisfying and boosted my confidence a bit.

I should say that before I finished writing this post, I was given a pair of boots that are designed to stretch at the calf (my aunt got them from a client and can’t wear them) but I think they’re suede. I wouldn’t normally buy suede, and the toes are kind of pointy for my liking. I’ll still try them for a season and see if they’re comfortable (might as well since they were free). That’s enough ranting for today, especially since my issue was at least partially solved. Time will tell.

Until next time,

~Niki

Monday rants: Carwash

Today’s Monday rant is about something I hate with a burning passion: soft-cloth car washes!

To be honest, I hate any sort of carwash. I have autism (diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when that was still considered a separate entity, albeit under the autism umbrella) so that may be a factor, but being stuck in a closed space that’s getting blasted with water and slapped at with a giant heavy cloth is noisy and frankly, terrifying. The only thing that could make it worse is if there were a wasp or a hornet stuck in the car with me.

On top of all that, as soon as you take a hose to your car, it always rains. What is the point of that? You’ve just wasted soap, water, and effort.

That’s it for today, though I could carry on for hours!

~Niki

Monday rants: Twitter

To get myself in the habit of writing and sticking to a routine, I’m going to try something: every Monday I’m going to rant about something. To get started, today’s rant will be about Twitter.

I had a Twitter before, and got rid of it. Why? Because aside from auto-tweeting posts from my portfolio/blog, I don’t think I used it very much. A couple of times I got into small arguments (which was a dumb move in my part, and in hindsight a handful of those people weren’t wrong) and it felt like there was no point.

Fast-forward to now, and I’ve signed up for another one. Why? Because after using Instagram for a short period (a couple of months?) I’ve actually been engaging with people and making more positive connections. Then I started thinking: is this what I was supposed to be doing on Twitter the whole time?

Cue awkward moment of realization, it probably was.

So, once again, I’m going to conduct a social experiment and unleash myself upon the unsuspecting internet. Hopefully now that I’ve had time to reflect upon my past actions and overall lack of filter, this experience will be a better one.

Until next time

~Niki

All the things she said…

This post is a bit heavier than what I’d usually write, because things have been weighing on my mind lately.

Have you ever thought back to your younger days and cringed at the things you did or said?

I’m not sure what prompted it, but I was thinking about highschool lately and some of the things my friends and I used to joke about. Me, having almost no filter, contributed some pretty racey comments that I know I should not have been making. In the moment it seemed harmless, though I didn’t always take into account who may be listening. At least once, that lead to confrontation.

Looking back, that was a fair consequence. I upset somebody, they got angry and confronted me. My friends tried to help diffuse the situation by explaining that we were joking amongst ourselves and meant nothing by it. I ended up in another confrontation with the same person later over something different, but I still wonder if they weren’t already in edge from previous incidents.

My takeaway from this was that I should be trying to be more careful about what I say, and to who. Not only because of confrontation, but because you may look back—from a different frame of mind—and wish you could stop yourself. Likewise, you may have moments where you wish you had spoken up, perhaps to apologize or to come to someone’s defence.

The advice my father gave me, was “think before you do things”. If you carefully consider what you say and why you stand behind it, you’ll be less likely to blurt things out and regret it later. If it’s a joke, commit to the joke. If it’s a comment, commit to the comment. Also, commit to the consequences. If you can’t commit, don’t go through with it.

~Niki 

Lost Items

Doesn’t everybody have that one friend who is forever misplacing their stuff? Yeah, I’m that person.

I guess I’ve been pretty lucky in that most of my stuff did turn up eventually—sometimes six months after I needed it. Not the end of the world when it’s something like a pencil case, but your phone, keys, and wallet are all likely to cause problems in the immediate future. So is your USB with work or school documents on it that you’re going to need that day.

Of the things that I never found were a USB I accidentally left plugged in at school (and yes, I did try the lost and found), a stuffed animal that was more than likely left behind when I moved into this apartment, and a Sailor Moon ring from my best friend that fell off at recess. Again, none of those things were the end of the world, but it really sucks when you lose something with sentimental value—or a drive that contains all of your working files for that semester.

Lately, things keep sliding under my bed or end table and it drives me crazy because I want to listen to music or charge my phone, and those things aren’t where I expected them to be. Yeah, I know, “re-trace your steps”. That’s actually how I stepped on a pair of headphones I was looking for and broke them. Also, sometimes people will pick up and move the thing you just sat down, or accidentally mistake your Science binder for theirs and return it days after the test—thanks for that, locker buddy!

Anyway, losing things sucks. I’m actually surprised I haven’t lost my glasses yet.

 

Now, where did I leave that MP3 player…

~Niki